Political Science for dummies

I had a client send me this and I thought it was funny...it was sent to be light hearted and just to give a chuckle..please recieve it that way and Political Science for Dummies
DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.


REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.



POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Chrissy wrote:

ReplyReply AllMove...Go to Previous message | Go to Next message | Back to Messages Select Message EncodingASCII (ASCII)Greek (ISO-8859-7)Greek (Windows-1253)Latin-10 (ISO-8859-16)Latin-3 (ISO-8859-3)Latin-6 (ISO-8859-10)Latin-7 (ISO-8859-13)Latin-8 (ISO-8859-14)Latin-9 (ISO-8859-15)W. European (850)W. European (CP858)W. European (HPROMAN8)W. European (MACROMAN8)W. European (Windows-1252)Armenia (ARMSCII-8)Baltic Rim (ISO-8859-4)Baltic Rim (WINDOWS-1257)Cyrillic (866)Cyrillic (ISO-8859-5)Cyrillic (KOI8-R)Cyrillic (KOI8-RU)Cyrillic (KOI8-T)Cyrillic (KOI8-U)Cyrillic (WINDOWS-1251)Latin-2 (852)Latin-2 (ISO-8859-2)Latin-2 (WINDOWS-1250)Turkish (ISO-8859-9)Turkish (WINDOWS-1254)Arabic (ISO-8859-6, ASMO-708)Arabic (WINDOWS-1256)Hebrew (856)Hebrew (862)Hebrew (WINDOWS-1255)Chinese Simplified (GB-2312-80)Chinese Simplified (GB18030)Chinese Simplified (HZ-GB-2312)Chinese Simplified (ISO-2022-CN)Chinese Simplified (WINDOWS-936)Chinese Trad.-Hong Kong (BIG5-HKSCS)Chinese Traditional (BIG5)Chinese Traditional (EUC-TW)Japanese (SHIFT_JIS)Japanese (EUC-JP)Japanese (ISO-2022-JP)Korean (ISO-2022-KR)Korean (EUC-KR)Thai (TIS-620-2533)Thai (WINDOWS-874)Vietnamese (TCVN-5712)Vietnamese (VISCII)Vietnamese (WINDOWS-1258)Unicode (UTF-7)Unicode (UTF-8)Unicode (UTF-16)Unicode (UTF-32)enjoy!!!

What's all this then?

PMSL laughing!!!!

That is brilliant!!!!!!

But as Pete noticed...you could have cut out the garbage at the end!!!

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Chrissy wrote:

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Don't you mean 'Listen you TWO'?

Chrissy wrote:

This is going to be a great day....it's before 7 and I've been flipped off already......Great...

Chrissy wrote:

This is going to be a great day....it's before 7 and I've been flipped off already......Great...

Can't be any worse than mine dear...

Listen, you two. . .

Pete wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Don't you mean 'Listen you TWO'?

Maybe she wanted you to listen as well. Oh, and the singular of dummies would be " Dummy " These Americans, take a beautiful language and throttle the life out of it !!

Roger H wrote:

Pete wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Don't you mean 'Listen you TWO'?

Maybe she wanted you to listen as well. Oh, and the singular of dummies would be " Dummy " These Americans, take a beautiful language and throttle the life out of it !!

So true!

So true!!!!

And they can't even master non-phonetic spelling!!!!!

RFFB wrote:

Roger H wrote:

Pete wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Don't you mean 'Listen you TWO'?

Maybe she wanted you to listen as well. Oh, and the singular of dummies would be " Dummy " These Americans, take a beautiful language and throttle the life out of it !!

So true!

So true!!!!

And they can't even master non-phonetic spelling!!!!!

I was searching all around England via Google Earth just to make a language funny, with the use of a place I had seen called something that looked like ( and sounds alot, when spoken, assumedly ) "Holy Cow," but I got interested in following the course of Hadrian's Wall and exploring Canterbury Cathedral/ St. Augustin Abbey/ Lady Wooton's Green, which is where my teacher's teacher's teacher, Alan Watts, did alot of intellectual and spiritual maturing, and I've decided that I want to live in Canterbury. Can anyone tell me in simple English if they talk funny there, too?

Frethead wrote:

RFFB wrote:

Roger H wrote:

Pete wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Listen you too..it was political Science for dummies not computing for dummies...So this dummie had no idea what that was...So ........I deleted it!!!! Hurrah for me!!

Don't you mean 'Listen you TWO'?

Maybe she wanted you to listen as well. Oh, and the singular of dummies would be " Dummy " These Americans, take a beautiful language and throttle the life out of it !!

So true!

So true!!!!

And they can't even master non-phonetic spelling!!!!!

I was searching all around England via Google Earth just to make a language funny, with the use of a place I had seen called something that looked like ( and sounds alot, when spoken, assumedly ) "Holy Cow," but I got interested in following the course of Hadrian's Wall and exploring Canterbury Cathedral/ St. Augustin Abbey/ Lady Wooton's Green, which is where my teacher's teacher's teacher, Alan Watts, did alot of intellectual and spiritual maturing, and I've decided that I want to live in Canterbury. Can anyone tell me in simple English if they talk funny there, too?

Ecky thump fella, what are ye on about.

No be a good lad and mek us a brew wil ya...

Frethead wrote:

I got interested in following the course of Hadrian's Wall... Can anyone tell me in simple English if they talk funny there, too?

Cumbria through Northumberland to Tyne & Wear...

God's country!!!!

Aye bonny lad, they al tak reet funny abooy there like ya knar...!!!!

Oh No !! The Northerners have regressed again !! Lock all the doors and windows !!

Roger H wrote:

Oh No !! The Northerners have regressed again !! Lock all the doors and windows !!

By eckers that be right rude of ye.

Do you ever speak English?

Where are the crop circles?

Chrissy wrote:

Do you ever speak English?

Aye Lass, this be proper english love, none of that fancy stuff spouted by them down in the big smoke!

Chrissy wrote:

Do you ever speak English?

Do YOU!!!!!!

RFFB wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Do you ever speak English?

Do YOU!!!!!!

We are not talking about me!!!!! And i'm not complaining...RFFB starts talking Geordie to me and I could care less what it means it sounds so divine!!!

If "by eckers" is an accepted exclamation, then I could turn some heads with a simple "ECK," right?

ECK

Frethead wrote:

If "by eckers" is an accepted exclamation, then I could turn some heads with a simple "ECK," right?

ECK

Just becareful you don't end up with 'Eck' on your face....

Chrissy wrote:

RFFB wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Do you ever speak English?

Do YOU!!!!!!

We are not talking about me!!!!! And i'm not complaining...RFFB starts talking Geordie to me and I could care less what it means it sounds so divine!!!

Had-away pet! Whey I didn't knae that like!

That's proper canny of ya ta say, hinny!

Though I do not actually talk like that!!!!!!!